Here’s the situation: The truth might set you free, but being truthful has gotten out of control

(I think) I’m a pretty laid back person, but one thing I’ve learned about myself is that really minor things irritate me and can get me hopping mad in an instant.  I’m not going to yell, get physical or make a scene, but I will inwardly seethe.  And as instantly as I get mad, I get over it just as quick.  Well, maybe give me 10 minutes, but then I’ve moved on.

I usually get mad over really stupid things too; inefficiency, inconvenience, being let down by someone or mindless mistakes I’ve made, like misplacing something that I know I had the day before.  Some days I can be a little more irritable than others (shocking, right?!) and on those days, things that the average person is oblivious to, really grate on my nerves.  My laser focus can amplify irritants to the point that white hot rage takes over as I start to form irrational thoughts about what I would like to do in that instant!  This got me to thinking – what would I be like if I moved on every impulse and my actions had no consequences?

My Dark Passenger

Ever heard of misophonia?

Misophonia – a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circumstance.  Individuals with misophonia often report they are triggered by oral sounds – the noise someone makes when they eat, breathe or even chew.  Other adverse sounds include keyboard or finger tapping.  Sometimes a small repetitive motion is the cause – someone fidgets, jostles you or wiggles their foot.  A mild case might make you feel anxious, uncomfortable, the need to flee or disgust.  A more severe response is rage, anger, hatred, panic, fear and emotional distress.

Yeah. ↑ That.

When people continuously sniffle without ever blowing their nose.  When people’s noses whistle.  When people chew and you can hear the food mixing with their saliva and sloshing around in their mouth or when they audibly gulp when taking a drink.  People who constantly clear their throats, tap their feet, shake their legs.  Oh what sweet bliss it would be if I could grab them, shake them and yell at them to stop or to go blow their freaking nose!

I may or may not have a touch of road rage too, so sometimes I fantasize about ramming into the back of someone’s car or approaching a bad driver at a red light and giving them a piece of my mind!  I would feel so vindicated!  Momentarily at least.  Until I realized how childish that outburst was.

I know, my thoughts aren’t healthy and thankfully I’m mature enough to check myself before I wreck myself, but can you imagine if everyone just said everything that came to mind and acted on every emotional whim?  Our world would be a hot mess!  …oh wait…

Look at This Photograph

I love Instagram.  Of all the socials, it’s the one I enjoy the most.  Back in the day, before phones had cameras and before cameras were digital, there was the camera with 35mm film.  A roll of film gave you 24 opportunities to capture 24 moments and you had no idea if they were going to be good or not.  It was a real gamble my friends!  If you were lucky to have a pricier camera, it would automatically rewind the film when it ran out!  Then you had to drive that film to a store and wait to have it developed.  An hour or so later when you had your printed photos in hand, you had to put them somewhere, so you bought photo albums to store them in.  I have hundreds of photos and dozens of photo albums.  They are inconvenient, cumbersome and take up a lot of room, but they are so much fun to look through!  It’s no wonder I love an app that is like a digital photo album!

Like those printed albums, I love to go back and look through my Instagram grid to reminisce.  So many fun memories.  I like to scroll through the feed and see your photos too and sometimes I watch stories but rarely, if ever, will you find me commenting on someone’s photo that I don’t know; like a celebrity for instance.  (Or a “celebrity”.  You know, the verified people but you still have no clue who they are).  It surprises me how many people do comment though.  Social media has made everyone so accessible that we feel one of two ways about strangers.  Either we think they’re our friends because we know so much about their lives, or we think we’re so far removed that we can say what we want and it won’t matter.  Sometimes I read the hateful comments people post and think – who says this?  But like actually, WHO. SAYS. THIS?!  Back in my day, a troll was an ugly man who lived under a bridge.  Today’s definition is someone who deliberately makes a comment to evoke a reaction.  Do people really have nothing better to do with their time than be a troll?  You need a hobby!

Honesty Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

Have you ever had someone be so honest with you that you thought – well, that was rude!  My weight usually fluctuates every couple years and I’ve run into some very honest people who’ve straight up told me on first sight “well, you’ve gained weight”.  I’m single and I’ve been told to “get on it” because I’m “getting on in the years”.  I’ve had boyfriends who felt the need to point out a day when my mascara was chunky or ask me why I don’t dress or act more like [that girl].  Honesty is not always the best policy!  You don’t need to voice your opinion all the time, unless you’ve specifically been asked for it!

I’ve heard it said before “I just have to say”, followed up with something that was actually completely unnecessary to say.  You don’t “just have to say” anything!  You might feel you need to get it off your chest to make yourself feel better, but is what you’re about to say going to be helpful or hurtful to the person hearing it?  Forcing your words on someone is like pulling the pin of a grenade and tossing it in their lap.  What are they supposed to do with this unsolicited information?  Do you care enough to stick around and help clean up the mess or are you going to run before the bomb explodes because it’s not your problem anymore?

The Truth, the Truth, the Truth is on Fiyah

Follow your bliss.  Not all those who wander are lost.  Live, laugh, love.  *barf*  I hate these trendy sayings and my least favorite thing to hear right now would have to be “live your truth”.  Errybody out here tryna live their truth!  What is your “truth” exactly?  Is it the stripped down, truest form of yourself?  Because my “truth” is that I’m over-observant and judgy.  If unleashed, I have a sharp tongue that could cut deep and this sweet little brain has the capacity to form some pretty awful thoughts.  I understand the saying in a sense of being an individual and not being fake to impress others, but I feel like it’s been misconstrued.  Are we actually just excusing poor behavior as “living your truth”?  It’s part of the entitlement mindset that we all have (let’s quit blaming it all on the millennials).  We don’t want to change.  If we’re a lot to handle, we think everyone else needs to deal with it, rather than taking a look inside and dealing with ourselves.  After all, we can’t help how we are, we were “born this way”, right?  It’s time to grow up!

Do you remember the saying if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?  Why don’t we follow that anymore?  Our words matter.  The bible says that the power of life and death are in the tongue and that the only words that come out of our mouths should be helpful for building each other up.  If you don’t want to be all Christiany about it, think about the last time someone complimented you.  Did that make your spirit come alive or did you leave feeling depressed?

If you don’t have something nice to say, then literally don’t say anything!  Bite your tongue.  Take a second and think before you speak or type or text.  And if you have time to type or text, you have even longer to think about it before you press send.  Maybe just hit that backspace key a few times.  Be kind!

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. – James 1:19

Aw snap.  Convicted!