Here’s the situation: They say good things come to those who wait, which I do believe, but in some instances, I think you need to quit waiting and just go out and get the good things for yourself!

It was the early 2000’s and my roommate and I were on one of our frequent Saturday shopping trips when I found and purchased my new favorite outfit; a cream cowl neck sweater, bootcut Silver brand jeans that had a rustic tan wash and a beautiful pair of light tan suede wedge boots, which tied the whole look together.  For as much as I loved that outfit, I rarely wore it!  Because it was my favorite, I wanted it to stay in mint condition as long as possible, especially those boots.  Now, for anyone who doesn’t live where I live, you should know, there is a lot of slush/snow for a lot of months of the year and light tan or suede footwear is a risky investment if you’re wanting them to stay like new!

After having only worn the outfit on a few occasions over the course of a few years, I thought to myself – I PAID for this outfit, I should really just get my use out of it, even if it does get worn out!  The very next time I had somewhere to go, I pulled it out and put it on, but when I looked in the mirror, all I could do was laugh!  You see, while that outfit sat in my closet waiting for the right occasion or the perfect conditions, years went by and styles completely changed from bootcut to skinny jeans and from wedges to stilettos and my once-favorite outfit, though still as pristine as desired, was no longer trendy and I would never leave the house in it now!  My intentions had been good, but in the end, it was a total waste!

I know that story is only about an outfit and it might be a bit of a stretch to compare the two, but I can’t help but relate that to how many of us live.  We have this thing metaphorically hanging in our closet the whole time – our lives – and we never get our full use out of it because we’re waiting for the right occasion or the perfect conditions, meanwhile the years go by!  We have good intentions, but our good intentions might be wasting our time or our opportunities, or they might just be a really good (ahem, lame) excuse for our inaction!

What If I Met Someone?

I had a lot more Rascal Flatts romanticism in me when I was younger.  You know, “God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you”.  Yea, that.  Every failed relationship was just one step closer to the right one, right?!  At least that’s what ballads and rom-coms will have you believe and friends will say to try and encourage you.  I guess nobody anticipated how many steps I might have to take!  As emotional as every break up was, and as hopeless as I became the more time that went by, somewhere deep down I hung on to ‘the next one might be the right one’ for far too long and because of that, there were things I delayed or opted not to do over the years, because, well, what if I met someone and that someone was the right someone?!

I was supposed to get married in 2007.  I had the church, the reception hall and the photographer all booked.  The invites were drafted (but not ordered) and my wedding dress was purchased.  Praise the good Lord above I came to my senses before the wedding day, but because it only 5 months before and not 6 months, I lost most of my deposits and I still own that wedding dress.  It was never altered, the tags were never removed and I can’t remember now, but I assume I wasn’t able to return it at the time or I’m sure I would’ve.  Since I was stuck with a dress I spent $1,000 on, I decided to keep it rather than try to sell it and potentially lose money on it right away!  I mean, I obviously liked it, it was paid for, but most importantly – what if I met someone?  I would already have my dress!  I gave myself 5 years to hang onto it.  Surely 5 years was p-l-e-n-t-y of time to meet someone new!

As you can guess, 5 years came and went and when I tried to sell it (for substantially less than I paid), similar to my favorite outfit, styles had changed and nobody was interested in an outdated dress, even as affordable as it was!  You’d think there’d be at least 1 bride on a budget out there!!  Now here we are, 14 years later and that dress is still in my possession and the only thing it’s been used for is a funny little photo shoot my friend and I did for my 10 year non-inversary.

My intentions were good.  I was trying to save myself money in the long run by not selling my dress, but in the long run, my money went to waste anyway!  What about the other things I haven’t done because I was prioritizing good intentions and what if‘s?

I’ve been using the same queen-size Ikea bedframe from when I moved out for the first time in 2001.  I bought it because it was the cheapest one, but in 20 years I’ve had plenty of moments where I wanted to update it to something a little more grown up, but I continued to hold off.  Why?  Because, what if I met someone?  I’ve always said that when I got married I wanted a king-size bed, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to update my queen when I could potentially meet someone tomorrow and just have to replace it with a king anyway, and there’s no point in me already getting a king for just myself.

When I first bought my place, I was using a bookshelf and a dining table and chairs that I got for free because I couldn’t afford anything else.  As my finances increased however and I could finally purchase something I liked, rather than something I had to use, I held off, because again, what if I met someone?  Maybe they’d already own nicer stuff than me?  Maybe they wouldn’t like my taste?  Maybe they’d want to pick out new items together?  It would be a waste to bother upgrading these things, so I’ll just wait and see what happens…

Excuses Excuses

I’m fully aware that all of those things are inane and don’t really seem like that big of a deal, but I also know it’s not just me doing this!  I’ve heard others use this exact same reasoning (or reasons they use to sound more spiritual), only on a larger, more life-affecting scale!  I’ve known people who were hesitant to put down roots in a city because ‘what if they met someone?’ and that someone doesn’t live in the same city or lives there and wants to relocate, or ‘what if God calls them elsewhere?’.  I’ve known others who had the money to buy their own place, but wouldn’t because ‘what if they met someone?’ and that someone already owns a place.

When I moved into my place, I remember waffling about signing a 2 year contract for cable/internet (but I did).  “Oh 2 years, that’s such a long time.  Maybe I can go without so I’m not locked into anything.  Who knows what’s going to happen in 2 years time?”  Ummm yea, I do now – NOTHING!  2 years came and went, and then I signed another year long contract and when that expired, I renewed for another 2 years and just last month I locked in for another 2 years.  If I had actually not gotten cable/internet because I didn’t know what was going to happen, the exact same 2 years, 3 years, 5 years, would’ve passed anyway.  Years that I could’ve been enjoying my time at home with TV shows I like or streaming Netflix or having wifi on my phone.

And that my friends, is what we do.  We’re martyr’s to our maybe’s and because we put our lives on hold for uncertainties, we miss out on the tangible here and now.

Get out of your head and into your life.

– Jenny Acuff

Just Do It

Last winter I finally said ‘screw it’ and started to shop for a new bookshelf and dining table and chairs.  It took a few months, but one by one I upgraded to pieces I love and already over 6 months have gone by that I’ve had and enjoyed my new items.  6 months that would’ve gone by anyway, only with me continuing to hate my furniture, and for what purpose?  I live in this space TODAY, so I should create a space I enjoy where I’m at!  And this is what my life looks like TODAY, I should live it and enjoy it where I’m at!

Your life and mine, sure, they could change tomorrow!…but they could also not.  Do you want to keep living for what-if‘s and prioritizing good intentions to possibly look back and think ‘what a waste’ or do you want to pull your life out of the closet and get your use out of it now?  Either way the same time is going to go by!  So you may as well wear the boots!  If they get ruined, who cares – they’ll be out of style soon anyway!  And put down roots!  If God happens to call you elsewhere, then go elsewhere!  Now you have double the friends and a place to stay when you go back to visit!  If you can, buy your own place and if you meet someone who already owns, guess what?  You can sell!  Or they can sell!  Or you can live in one and rent out the other!  Cross those bridges when you get to them.  Of course, yes, please think about the future and even plan for it in a responsible way (spend wisely, save money, date smart), but don’t keep putting your life on hold for things that aren’t a sure thing.  Live today, TODAY!

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it’s own worries.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.

– Matthew 6:34 (NLT)