Stress

Stop the Insanity

/ Roxie / Leave a comment

Here’s the situation: It’s not ok.  It’s not ok to treat people different because of their choices and it’s not ok to force people to do something that they don’t want to do.  If you took this concept and applied it to any other scenario, we would be outraged and it would be considered a crime.

Before I get started, know that I’m shortening the key words in this (and their many forms and tenses), because I don’t need any sort of bot flagging my post and attaching some dumb PSA link to it, even though I’m sure this site is free of that.  You’re smart, I’m sure you can solve these abbreviated mysteries.  Cvd = duh.  V = this should be obvious.  Un-V = if you can’t figure this out, we have other problems.

Well That’s Just Great

Remember 19 months ago when we all heard about this ooky spooky virus and the very thought of it was crazy?  Then we thought social distancing and masks and lockdowns were crazy?  And then how crazy it was that our government essentially cancelled Christmas.  Do you remember the madness?!  Well, that madness almost seems sane to me now because the world has done gone and lost it’s mind!

Prior to that, if you would’ve asked me to list any reasons I could think of as to why my life might not turn out the way I want, I might’ve answered that it would be because the things I’d like to do require me to have a platform and a following but I’m a nobody.  I might’ve answered that it would be because I’ve done and accomplished all I want to/can do as a single person and the rest is dependent on finding a partner to do life with.  It would never have been because some stupid freaking virus would appear out of nowhere, disrupt the ENTIRE planet and potentially screw up all of my future hopes/plans/dreams.

The Blame Game

If I were God (and you should be thankful I’m not), I would be sending the flood right about now.  Just wipe this whole hot mess of humanity out because in the words of a basic white girl – I literally can’t even!  But like actually, I can’t.  The hate in the world is palpable!  There have been so many wrong things that have happened in North America this last year and now to top it off, the government is literally pitting the V and the un-V against each other and it is not ok!  None of anything that is going on right now is ok!  I get that everyone is over this crap, mentally and physically exhausted and looking for something, and now someone to blame, as to why a year and a half later things are worse, but can I just put this out there?  Blaming doesn’t help anything.  Blaming does not get you the results you want.  Blaming only causes more division and more hate.  Do you know who plays the blame game?  CHILDREN!  Tiny little humans whose brains haven’t fully developed.  This is the level of maturity we exhibit when we blame.

To V or Not to V

Personally, I legitimately DO. NOT. CARE. what you’ve decided to do.  If you got V – great, if you didn’t – great.  YOUR BODY, YOUR CHOICE!  But therein lies the frustration and the stress of many right now.  Canadians (and Americans) are losing their freedom of this choice and even more worrisome is many cannot see past the here-and-now to see the bigger picture of how losing this freedom could impact the future in a very negative way!

“Do your part.”  “It’s not a big deal.”  “Just get it so we can get over this pandemic.”  For many people, it’s not that simple!  The people who made the decision to get V had their reasons, just as the people who made the decision not to get V had their reasons.  The reasons might not seem valid to you, but they are valid to each person individually and news flash, it’s not your place to be the judge of someone else’s reasons!

I have both V and un-V people in my life and here’s what I know.  Not everyone who went and got the shot is a mindless sheep and not everyone who hasn’t got the shot is actually anti-V or a selfish conspiracy theorist.  A few people I know who got V were required to do so in order to see family members that live in care facilities, but I’d say the majority had the mindset of ‘we just want to get back to normal and if this is what it takes to do that or travel again, we’re going to do it’.  They can’t be faulted for that; that’s literally what they were guaranteed by the government!  Just as they can’t be faulted for their choice, the people who chose not to get V can’t be faulted for theirs.

I know people with auto-immune disorders who cannot get V because it poses a higher risk to them, yet they don’t fall under the exemption categories.  I know women who are hesitant of getting V because the long term effects on fertility/infertility are unknown and won’t be known for many more years.  I know people, who know people, who have died after getting the V, had adverse side effects and even been paralyzed.  As such, these people would rather take the risk of getting Cvd than the risk of getting V and you know what?  That’s their choice!  Where there is risk, there should be choice!

Stop It!

I could go on and on (and off!) about all of this.  Do I lean more towards one side than the other when it comes to my personal opinion?  Of course, but that doesn’t matter right now, what matters is, I think in all of the chaos that has only been amplified this last month, people have forgotten about the humanity in others. Reminder: there is still a person behind the decision to be V or un-V.  There is a stranger with a story that you don’t know and it’s really none of your business to know.  There is a coworker or a friend or a family member that, even as recently as a couple weeks ago, you could still enjoy the company of, while respectfully having a different opinion than.  Unfortunately, as soon as we were told that one side is to blame, humanity went out the window and now we just look at people and see them as the reason we’re living this unending cycle of insanity!

Let’s think for a moment about what happens when all of this ends?  Not Cvd, because I’m pretty sure that’s here to stay, but what happens when we’ve figured out how to continue living with this thing in the background and things have calmed down?  Are your relationships going to survive?  Will you be able to come back from the opinions you’ve formed or the things you’ve said?  What if it turns out that you were wrong?  What if it turns out that they were wrong?  Is this stupid virus worth losing relationships over?  Sorry, not in my world.

One Last Thing

Where are my Christians at?  No seriously, where are the faith-filled, miracle-believing, pray-without-ceasing Christians?!  I see and hear and read too many things that get posted and it seems like many Christians have forgotten about God (and the devil) in all of this.  Yes, science and medicine have done wonders for us in the past, but I’ve seen faith in a V elevated higher than faith in God.  And let’s not forget that we’ve been commanded not to fear, so why are you allowing fear to drive your life?  Dare I make a suggestion?  Turn off the news.  Close your newspaper.  Stay away from social media.  Why not spend that time in prayer instead?  Pray radical prayers that Cvd disappears!  And when you’re done praying, pray some more.  And then, go enjoy time with your family and friends.  Yes, even the ones who made a different choice than you!  Get to know people again and have conversations that don’t involve anything related to this nonsense!  You’ll quickly realize that people are more than their V status.

Are We There Yet?

/ Roxie / 3 Comments

Here’s the situation: Every job develops it’s own, unique lingo between coworkers and at my work, when one of us gets ready to leave for the day, we often say “I’ve seen enough.”  Well, over a year into dealing with this pandemic, that’s exactly how I feel – I’ve seen enough.

(Ok, I’d actually seen enough about 2 weeks in last year, but now I’ve really seen enough.)

White Girl Wasted

I’m no medical expert and I could be completely pulling this out of my butt, but I’m certain somewhere along the way I learned that when you’re drunk and pass out, it’s actually your body’s way of forcefully shutting down any function that isn’t necessary at the moment (like hitting the dance floor for one more song or making a new best friend in the ladies room), in order to focus all it’s energy on the functions needed to keep you alive.  You know, breathing and your heart beating…those little things.  Well, 14 months into this thing, there are days I feel like I’ve passed out.  I’m breathing and my heart is beating, but in order to survive this indefinite period of time, everything else is slowly shutting down.  Things like, looking forward to traveling, hoping to ever meet someone, hanging onto dreams I have, or even pursuing those dreams now.  Basically, anything that takes much mental fortitude.  You can barely plan tomorrow anymore, so it’s kind of like – how can you plan, or even almost hope for the future, when the future is so uncertain?!  And yes, the future has always been uncertain, but even with that, it still felt a little more promising than it does at the moment.  Some days I find myself wondering if there’s a point in having these desires now?  Do they even matter anymore?  Continuing to carry them can get overwhelming and I can’t really handle overwhelming, on top of already coping with our ever-changing rules and restrictions (that don’t make sense), constantly trying to make the best of them AND looking to find some kind of silver lining in all of this!  It’s exhausting.  When it comes to my hopes and dreams and desires now, I’ve started to feel indifferent to them.  Kind of like “meh, whatever, it doesn’t matter”, because it’s easier to do that, than spend the energy working towards or wishing for their outcome in a world that has taken a crazy detour.

Don’t You Know I’m Loco?

If I’ve learned anything this last year, it’s that there’s nothing quite like a never-ending pandemic to make you question your sanity.  It has nothing to do with fearing Covid itself either, but rather dealing with everything surrounding it and the roller coaster of things opening up and shutting down, opening up, shutting down.  Snip snap, snip snap, snip snap.

snip-snap

There have been weeks where I’ve been so grieved by a hopeless, dreamless, possibly travel-less future that I’ve had to fight back tears almost every minute of the day and other weeks where I feel so hardened that I don’t care about anything anymore and couldn’t shed a tear if I tried.  Some days the sunshine hurts my soul more than it helps it, because it makes me nostalgic and pine for better times that no longer seem possible, while other days all I feel is the rage of a thousand suns fill my soul.  I’ve seen a light at the end of the tunnel, but then watched that light stay an equal distance from me, even as we move forward.  I’ve heard more opinions and news than I can stand and had multiple sleepless nights due to the stress of wondering what’s truth, what isn’t and where I stand as a Christian in light of it all.

No More Lemons Thanks, I’ve Made Enough Lemonade

I was texting with a friend about a month ago and we were expressing our frustration about the rumor of yet another shutdown (which did, in fact, happen) and the disappointment of things getting postponed or canceled again, her being a shift worker and having to figure out the homeschool schedule again, not to mention how the last set of rules implemented in December, which were only supposed to be for 3 weeks, still haven’t been lifted!  The general consensus of the texts was “F U covid”.  (Don’t worry, we only used the letters F and U, because we don’t use language like that.)  I mentioned to her that I was finally at my breaking point in every area – work, dating, blog, travel, etc, and I didn’t know how much longer I could handle this crap.  That’s when she replied and said COVID FATIGUE IS REAL!!

The more I sat with that statement, the more I thought – hmmm, maybe that’s what this is!  I’m not depressed or bipolar or a conspiracy theorist and I haven’t gone completely crazy.  I’m just tired!  I’m tired of making lemons into lemonade, and the highs and lows I’ve felt this last year have only been amplified because of already operating from an exasperated state.  When we’re functioning with consistently high emotions, high stress, high whatever – something’s gotta give!  It’s similar to what I said above about passing out; some things have to shut down in order for other things to survive.  If Covid fatigue is a valid thing, it makes sense why I don’t want to deal with any part of life lately that takes anything more than the energy, effort or emotions required to have fun.  It makes sense why I’ve become indifferent to my hopes/dreams/desires.  Heck, it makes sense why I’ve been struggling to write for nearly 2 months, but haven’t cared that much, even though one of my life’s dreams/goals hinges on writing this!

Done.

I was with another friend just the other night and she mentioned to me having Zoom fatigue from so many Zoom meetings over the last year and I had to laugh thinking about how I was working on this blog.  Whenever I talk to friends, the biggest thing we all feel is just done!  We are soooo over [it].

fine-by-me

Last week our Premier announced some of our province’s restrictions being lifted and it sounds exciting, but…we’ve done this before only to have everything locked down again.  I’m looking forward to being able to dine with friends IN a restaurant and because I live alone, being allowed to hang out with more than 2 people who also must live alone (that is, if you followed that rule in the first place), but at the same time, I almost feel like I can’t let my guard down yet.  The light at the end of the tunnel will need to become so bright that it burns my retinas before I believe we’re anywhere near being through this thing and even then, I don’t think anything or anyone will ever be “normal” again.  We’re changed.

So what about you?  How have YOU been holding up?  Have you also “seen enough”?

All I wanna be is done

– Done., The Band Perry