Here’s the situation: It’s the 1 year anniversary of The Situation Room!  (Well, Monday officially)

This isn’t a typical post, but I thought I’d write a little background and recap of the past year, since many of you are not familiar with how TSR came to be!

The story actually starts 4 years ago while recovering from foot surgery, when I decided to try my hand at blogging.  I wasn’t that familiar with blogs and I didn’t read other people’s either, I just knew that I had more opinions than a Facebook status could hold and as someone who enjoys writing, I thought it might be a good outlet!  I also had 7 weeks off of work on short term disability, so perhaps I needed an outlet to feel useful.

I nervously published my first blog, July 5, 2016.  At that time, I knew I had a guaranteed 5 readers.  My “fans” as I jokingly called them.  5 people who liked what I had to say, enjoyed my style of writing and would always encourage me to write more.  Each post would draw in a few new eyes and it seemed that when people actually read my writing, they really enjoyed it as well.  I had hoped to stay consistent with the posts, but most times when I sat down to work on one, I would hit a wall and wasn’t able to get my words to come together; probably a good thing since my words were much angrier back then!  From the time I started, to around February of 2019, I drafted 25 blogs, but only ever published 7.

Check Your Heart

John Crist made headlines last fall and I’m sure it was not in the way he would’ve wanted.  I’ve had the pleasure of seeing him 3x, meeting him twice and we’ve DM’d about his shows a couple of times.  I found him very friendly, down to earth and for being quite famous (in Christian circles), he wasn’t arrogant at all.  I’ve met ordinary guys who had less time of day for me than John did.  When I was invited for a meet and greet at my second show, I was actually really impressed with how accountable he seemed to keep himself!  Of course, these are just my experiences and my opinions and yours might differ in light of those headlines, but whatever you may say, I can say that John Crist 100% impacted my life for the better, as ridiculous as that seems/sounds/is.

Keep Portland Weird

My cousin, her husband and I planned a road trip to Portland, Oregon, in October 2018 to see John perform for our first time.  Since we were driving 13+ hours to see him, my cousin and I were going to make it worth our while and naturally sprung for the VIP tickets.  Our VIP package included early access to the venue and merch table, a backstage session with John, a photo op and a backstage tour, which unbeknownst to us, included his tour bus.  That was odd.  Pretty sure we looked at each other and said “are we supposed to be in here?”.

As I watched John from our front row seats, something within me woke up.  It wasn’t because I was a fan or awestruck by his “celebrity”, it was these intense feelings of jealousy met with empowerment.  Here he was, unashamedly himself, and loved and accepted by thousands of people for things that I’m afraid of being rejected for.  Not only that, he and his opening acts were these young guys doing what they love and loving what they do and what was I doing with my life?!!  I like my job and I’m good at my job, but is it my passion?  And what IS my passion?  I had to be created for more than just being good at admin and essentially running out the clock with a routine life until I died!  I came home from that trip with an urgency for change and a desire to do something big(ger) with my life, but I had no idea what, or where to start or what I could possibly change!

YOLO?

4 months post John Crist show (a little over a year ago), I was still antsy to do something (anything!), but I have a mortgage and bills to pay, so I can’t be completely irrational and do a 180º, just because I’m bored.  For whatever reason, the idea of a new blog came to mind.  I could do it without disrupting my life too much, but this time I would make it more of a priority than before.  I even considered sowing into it by buying a domain name.  I felt kind of stupid though, I mean, the trend of blogging had passed and at that point I had maybe 15 consistent readers that I was aware of, so who would really care what a nobody like me had to say, even if I did have my own website?  The urgency I felt when I got home from Portland was still there though and I told myself, anyone who’s ever done anything, had to start somewhere!

I narrowed down a name, somewhat of a concept and I even signed up for a one-day ‘Intro to WordPress’ course to cover all of my bases.  Since I already had a blog, most of it was just review, but with the course perk being a 4:1 student to mentor ratio, I was able to monopolize one poor guy and he showed me how to upgrade, purchase my domain name and link everything together.  Without him, I would’ve never figured it out!

With my previous blog, I wanted to be as anonymous as I could, so I didn’t include any information about me or photos.  As a reader though, I think it’s important to know who is behind the writing.  It makes you feel more connected and it gives the words more value.  For example, if I were a stranger reading my own blog, I would want to see this girl who often talks about her dating struggles.  Does she struggle because she never does her hair or make up and maybe she wears Winnie the Pooh embroidered cardigans?  That girls opinion would be moot to me, but if I found out she was normal, I’d be more inclined to follow her journey and open to hearing what she had to say, because I could relate!

High Risk | High Reward

I published my first TSR blog April 20, 2019.  It was just as nerve racking as the first one 3 years earlier.  Would anyone read it?  How would it be perceived?  How would I be perceived?  I can be pretty black and white with my feelings, so would I just offend everyone and be hated?  If I talked about faith or Christianity, would I get mocked and my opinions dismissed because I’m some bible-thumping Jesus freak?  They say to write about what you know, but if I wrote about what I’ve known to be true in my life, would I just come across as some whiny girl who felt sorry for herself?  Would writing about being single, inevitably keep me single?  Did I really want to let people all up in my bidnez and be that vulnerable?

What if I fall?

Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?

– Erin Hanson

A lot of things changed for me in the years since starting my first blog.  The majority of my remaining single friends got married, while others started having babies and my friendships inevitably shifted due to both.  I bought a condo and lived alone for the first time ever and dating was a fruitless endeavor, so the hope of one day finding a man seemed (and still seems) impossible.  After being very alone for those 3 years, a part of me died.  It was the part that spent so much energy being concerned about what people thought and desperately wanting to be accepted, and the part that kept myself in a box that other people had put me in.  In the words of Jo Dee Messina – my give a damn was busted.  As uncomfortable as the idea was of putting myself out there, I figured, I can’t be any more alone and I can’t attract any less men, so what did I really have to lose?  I like who I am and I think I’m funny, plus I’m half way to senility so I can get away with saying more, so I’ll just write and be myself and you can take it or leave it!

Ok, I Know I Said Take It or Leave It, but Please Take It!

“Even if only 1 person got something out of it, then it was all worth it!”  That’s a nice sentiment and I’ve said it to myself before, but it’s kind of a lie!  I put a lot into each post, so I want them to affect more than just 1 person!  I spend upwards of 30 hours rambling out an idea and organizing my thoughts to make sense, then editing and re-editing countless times before I finally believe in one post enough to click “publish”.  It’s a lot of work for something that’s technically a hobby!  Not to mention the knots I get in my stomach each time I put something out there.  I’m baring a piece of my soul and it’s subject to be judged or criticized, or worse, not read at all.

Last month I really debated whether I should keep this up or just let it go, knowing that I tried.  When I started the blog a year ago, with my big dreams in hand, I really hoped that things in my life would start to shift and maybe, just maybe, this blog was the step of faith I needed to take to usher those dreams into reality.  Unfortunately, nothing’s changed and if I’m being honest, almost every time I work on a post I think to myself “what am I trying to say?“, “does anybody care?“, “why am I putting in all of this effort for nothing?“.  But I eventually get something to come together and so far it’s been well received.  So many times I’ve felt like I was going through something alone or thought that I was the only one who must feel this way, but the truth is, there’s always someone who understands.  If I have managed to make even 1 person feel less alone through my writing or like they have a comrade in this life, then somehow it actually does seem worth it!

Started From the Bottom, Now We’re Here

Here we are – 1 year later!  It was my goal to try and put something out every 2 to 3 weeks or at the very least, every month.  Goal accomplished.  20 blogs published!  My readers have slowly increased in number and I have a stats page, so I can see how far this blog has reached.  It’s pretty amazing!  (Don’t worry, when you read this, you remain anonymous – I don’t know who you are, I just see clicks and country stats.)  For a nobody like me, with only a little over 400 Facebook friends and 200 Instagram followers, this blog has been read in 25 different countries.  It doesn’t sound like many knowing there are 195 in the world, but when I look at which countries, it’s crazy.  Places like France, China, Australia, Pakistan, South Africa and India!  WOW – so cool!

I probably still only know (in person) who a handful of my consistent readers are, but for anyone else who has clicked on my links, taken the time to read my posts, like my posts or given me positive feedback, I appreciate you more than you could know!!  It’s you who keeps me coming back to share pieces of myself, even if you’re a stranger!  And thanks to anyone I’ve wrangled into being my photographer to help me with the Facebook/Instagram clickbait, because there’s only so much I can do with one hand and a PopSocket!

So, cheers to another year!  (…at least, because that’s how long I’m renewed for!)

Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway, we might as well put that passing time to the best possible use.

– Earl Nightingale